I have kept a diary almost all my life. I was 9 when I wrote my first one and here I am... 15 years later and still doing it!
I always kept them for when I was older... I wanted my children to learn from my mistakes and learn about who I am through them.
I don't understand my mother most of the time and sometimes I'd just love to dive into her thoughts just to know how she is feeling or what memory she is dwelling on.
I read my old diaries again and every single one is full of anger, upset, depression and complete frustration. I've never been a happy person in general. I was always the strange child or the dark girl. I've always been one to be completely comfortable on my own... until I met Michael.
Friends have come and gone on a regular basis. No one has really ever understood me or how my mind works so it does clash with others often. Only my family and Michael understand how I am and that's why I kept a diary for years... I'd get angry at my friends for being strange with me until I realised that I was the oddball.
Last year I completely demolished my life of these thoughts. I stopped feeling 'different' and 'strange'... now I just accept who I am and I also accept that other people don't always accept the person that you are.
No one understand you fully... just you.
I decided to be positive about my differences and embrace them. I now just add those to a diary instead of the negative thoughts that I always had swimming around my head.
I include my favourite pictures, poetry I love, ideas I have, funny moments, dreams I adored.
Nothing negative!
Make it as colourful as possible too and draw everything you can! Even if it's absolutely terrible... make a thought into pictures... rather than words.
Sometimes it's too hard to put something into words.
Document the start of a happier, brighter life.
It also helps to listen to your favourite music while you do it.
Inspire yourself.
My personal favourites are Anuna, Enya, Clannad, Hans Zimmer, Aaron Zigman or Gustav Santaolalla.
BUT I am a huge fan of classical and easy listening music!
