I have kept a diary almost all my life. I was 9 when I wrote my first one and here I am... 15 years later and still doing it!
I always kept them for when I was older... I wanted my children to learn from my mistakes and learn about who I am through them.
I don't understand my mother most of the time and sometimes I'd just love to dive into her thoughts just to know how she is feeling or what memory she is dwelling on.
I read my old diaries again and every single one is full of anger, upset, depression and complete frustration. I've never been a happy person in general. I was always the strange child or the dark girl. I've always been one to be completely comfortable on my own... until I met Michael.
Friends have come and gone on a regular basis. No one has really ever understood me or how my mind works so it does clash with others often. Only my family and Michael understand how I am and that's why I kept a diary for years... I'd get angry at my friends for being strange with me until I realised that I was the oddball.
Last year I completely demolished my life of these thoughts. I stopped feeling 'different' and 'strange'... now I just accept who I am and I also accept that other people don't always accept the person that you are.
No one understand you fully... just you.
I decided to be positive about my differences and embrace them. I now just add those to a diary instead of the negative thoughts that I always had swimming around my head.
I include my favourite pictures, poetry I love, ideas I have, funny moments, dreams I adored.
Nothing negative!
Make it as colourful as possible too and draw everything you can! Even if it's absolutely terrible... make a thought into pictures... rather than words.
Sometimes it's too hard to put something into words.
Document the start of a happier, brighter life.
It also helps to listen to your favourite music while you do it.
Inspire yourself.
My personal favourites are Anuna, Enya, Clannad, Hans Zimmer, Aaron Zigman or Gustav Santaolalla.
BUT I am a huge fan of classical and easy listening music!
ha "to intruder" - I like! I'd also like to point out how neat your handwriting is! Might be a weird thing to comment on but mines always been such a scrawly mess
ReplyDeletexx
Thank you very much! People used to make fun of my handwriting! Girls at school used to say I wished I was Jane Austen with that writing... strange thing to say as an insult... I thought "HELL YEAH!"
DeleteIt's a scrawly mess to you but I bet it's lovely to others!
my diaries were always full of anger and heartache, too. i think it's important to be able to vent frustrations, but now i do try to end it on a positive note. not forcefully so, but after complaining, just try to realize how much i do have and am lucky for. i think it's good to be balanced :) xx
ReplyDeleteThat's very true! Balance is very good! I try to stay balanced in my day to day life so I don't get to a point where I am angry enough to stab my pen down onto paper!
DeleteThis post is perfect--the pictures, the words--everything. I've kept a diary all of my life, too! I kept losing them and starting new ones, or moved it to an online journal, but I love having one and I love remembering happier times in the past. Your journal is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteWhy, thank you, Torie! I always lost mine too! I think I've only finished three in 15 years, lol. I've decided it's because I buy too many notebooks so now I just keep one in my bag at all times!
DeleteYour nails are so pretty! And aren't diaries awesome to look back on? The little things that seemed like SUCH a big deal...so funny to go back into your teenage mind :)
ReplyDeleteThank youuu! I love those nails. I'd wear them all the time if it was okay but I can't ignore my other polishes! Reminds me of Cath Kidston!
DeleteGosh, I still cringe in my old photoalbum let alone diary! The way I looked! Arghhh!